Owing to the recent lockdowns leading to an immense amount of time to waste on my hands, I had begun to indulge in binging MasterChef episodes and thinking of the dishes I’d make if I were in the contestant’s positions. One such dish, a staple of my state consisting of just boiled rice, lentils and some turmeric is pretty simple yet effective. However, the catch with this dish is that you can add almost anything your mind is capable of conjuring to it, ascending a basic dish to nirvana. But, the reality is that when there are already way more tasteful curries & snacks out there, cooking that dish would be a last resort when you’re strapped for cash.
That dish, is exactly how Waterparks’ Greatest Hits feels like, a basic dish which would have shined had it possessed some more ingredients. Instead, it ends up being a deceitfully titled album based off a well-established pop sound that, while seeming promising at first, ends up falling flat with minor blemishes adding up to a package that barely manages to carry your full attention throughout. What is more disappointing here is not the music itself, but the fact that Waterparks have demonstrated that they can write far better music which at times shines through at places on Greatest Hits as well, but as whole, it might as well be their most uninspiring album yet.
FANDOM, while I found it enjoyable, certainly was a step down sonically from the previous two releases, and Greatest Hits miraculously manages to even stoop to greater lengths to my amazement (and sheer disappointment). Starting off with “Greatest Hits“, an intro that lacks any and all substance and serves either to bloat out the tracklist or a failed attempt to get one hooked into the album. The following song “Fuzzy” is your average pop rock song, alternating between the vocals and Awsten’s vocals. While there is nothing really much of a standout on this song, it does show off the borderline rap verses that are present on several tracks on Greatest Hits which manage to add a fine touch to the song. A major issue with the album is its hodgepodge track selections. Follow up song “Lowkey As Hell“ hits with a completely opposite vibe from “Fuzzy“, reminiscent of the mishmash that was Bring Me The Horizon’s amo. “Lowkey As Hell“ starts off with an almost R&B feel to it which then fizzles out into, you guessed it, guitars. It’s almost grating to listen to the guitars right after the more smoother section.
“Numb” might be the closest in sound to FANDOM, which would have been a good thing if not for the end of the song, which drags it down once again. What sounds like those horrible sound effects from 3D Pinball back on the good old Windows 98 layered over the distorted vocals & instruments nearing the end of the song makes me happier knowing it ends in just a little over two minutes. The next song, “Violet!“ is one of the better songs on the album, once again starting off smooth & synth-y. After “Numb“, this is some much-needed tranquility – or so you thought. While the soundscape does sound super relaxed, upon observing the lyrics, it ends up painting a much darker picture (I’ll leave that for you to discover). The juxtaposition between the lyrical & instrumental content makes this one of the standout songs on this album, thought that admittedly isn’t really saying much. The next song, “Snow Globe“, is also one of the better songs. Easily mistaken for an interlude, it is yet another song similar in sound to “Violet!” but a more somber sounding soundscape, with some borderline R&B sounding instruments and vocals. This stretch of two songs is easily one of the best parts of the album. With its dreamy synths & electronic effects, “Snow Globe“ leaves you wanting more. Being comparable to some of the more electronic-oriented songs on Bring Me The Horizon’s amo, “Snow Globe” ends up as one of the best tracks on Greatest Hits. It displays the hypothesis that, had they stuck to one sound instead of trying to mix various influences into one, the record would have come out so much better.
Onto “Just Kidding“, and we’re already back to songs that lack any substance. With barely any interesting instrumentation going on, it fails to grip you & just ends up sounding like an edgy interlude which leads into “The Secret Life of Me“, once again doing a 180 in terms of sound, instantly switching from the slower pace of “Just Kidding” towards a more upbeat sound. At this point, guessing what the next song would sound like and what it turns out to be with almost no smooth transitioning or connectivity between the two songs is almost as difficult (more annoying) than guessing what color Awsten is going to dye his hair this weekend. While not a bad song by any means, “The Secret Life of Me“ does the bare minimum to qualify as a half decent song, with, once again, the rapped sections coming in to save what would have been an otherwise awful & painfully generic song.
The next song, “American Graffiti“ sounds like something off All Time Low’s Wake Up, Sunshine, with guitars stealing the show in between the verses. However, if you’re an avid All Time Low listener, you’ll know how watered down Wake Up, Sunshine, was, and “American Graffiti” being similar to it in terms of sound doesn’t qualify it as too much of an enjoyable experience which Waterparks can deliver at their best. “You’d Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You)” continues the trend set by the previous track, introducing more guitar work throughout & feeling some form of cohesion between some songs on this album for once. A pop rock anthem, “You’d Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You)“ does a decent job of enticing & getting my hopes up for the basic pop rock listener in me only to be ruined by the next song, “Fruit Roll Ups“. Vibe change followed by vibe change, this grotesque mixture of awful track positions could’ve been rearranged to give this album some form of cohesion. Maybe I’m just getting old, but the lyrics “I’m a little bitch for you now” makes me want to forget I ever listened to this song, which is only further accentuated by the prominent synth which acts as a bridge & almost feels like a needle prick in your ears.
“LIKE IT” displays Awsten’s rapping the most on the record along with some funky synths & beatbox sounds, doing a tremendous job at it, especially being somewhat of a parody or callout song. But when one of the standout songs on your album is a parody, that’s questionable in & of itself. “Gladiator“, a needless interlude, seemingly just serving as tracklist padding, feels out of place nearing the end of the album, with some spoken word intertwined with synth bits. “Magnetic“ is another of anthemic song with distorted instrumentals which falls a bit short, failing to be anything interesting or original. The final three songs is one of the better stretches of the album, with “Crying Over It All” gradually building up into a crescendo which finally feels like some form of satisfaction on my hard pressed ears after the terrible pot-pourri of an album. You can easily chant this song at the top of your lungs & have a blast, with the song containing super smooth vocals & instrumentation. It acts as a reminder that Waterparks have the capability to be so much more than just a pop rock band. “Ice Bath” feels like an interlude in line with the intro to the album, but so much better. This could have served as a much more apt opener instead of the horrendous abomination we got instead.
Already giving a taste of the rap & upbeat style of Waterparks, it builds into a great (but not Greatest (pun intended)) closer “See You In The Future“, which is easily the most rap-centric song, & possibly the only mix of both styles present on this album that actually sounds listenable. What absolutely steals the show here is its ending, where the drums are absolutely smashing during its closing moments. Conclusively, Greatest Hits is an almost-mess of an album which is barely salvaged by smaller tidbits sprinkled sparingly throughout the course of it. It could have easily benefited if the band had stuck to either one sound or the other for they are more than capable of writing a truly amazing record. Regardless, I’d still be interested to check out what direction they choose to go with subsequent releases for they sure are talented enough to carve a niche of their own. Don’t believe me? Just ask their rabid fanbase.
5.5/10