“Get to the fountain of youth and give thanks when it’s made of oil.“
Can a band on the up-and-up also be criminally underrated? If so, The Callous Daoboys certainly fit the bill. The group, whose name is a pun on The Dallas Cowboys, is an eclectic mathcore outfit out of Atlanta, Georgia, and they’ve churned out a solid stream of releases since their debut EP, My Dixie Wrecked, in 2017. A couple full-lengths later, and they’re already here with their third LP, titled Celebrity Therapist.
I’ll say right now that this is an album good enough to propel these talented musicians to new heights. If you’re a metal fan and are looking for something a little more on the chaotic side, but still anchored in what you know and love, The Callous Daoboys are waiting to become your new favorite band. The barrier of entry is not the lowest, as each track on this album is a whole lot to digest, but there’s a whole lot of meat on the bones too.
My point is immediately proven with the intro track of “Violent Astrology”. Dynamic vocalist Carson Pace opens the record by condemning certain aspects of American culture — especially gun culture — to the tune of hardcore-inspired chords in an aggressive progression. Then he rattles off what I can only describe as a Russian sleeper agent activation code. The lyrics are madness, but the instrumentation is consistently as mad. This is amplified by violinist Amber Christman adding very dissonant strings akin to something you’d hear from Black Midi’s recent outputs.
Another standout is the absolutely bombastic “Beautiful Dude Missile”. This track almost has it all when it comes to what you get from The Callous Daoboys; the guitar tone is almost anxiety inducing, there are layers upon layers of added effects, and the tracks takes multiple turns, never quite allowing the listener to get comfortable.
“Chicken wire wraps around the apparatus, compressed pages of blank thoughts and red daisies. Held together inside Manila prisons, as he gives up his sense of space and time.”
I truly have no idea what this means but there’s so much to explore within these lyrics for a person smarter than me. Carson manages to make it sound great too, so more power to him. Then later in the song, he repeats “there’s no answer” in some sort of twisted choir-like cadence before the track comes to an abrupt end. As I said, multiple turns, and this is the shortest track on the record!
Onto the longest cut, and one of my favorites, “Title Track”, beginning with a minimalistic synth intro that reminds me of the subtler tracks from the Dune movie. Then Carson introduces a ‘Sister Syzygy’ character that a lot of these lyrics are directed towards. Early on here, there’s also a pleasant softer section where Carson’s cleans are on display for the first time, accented by Whitney Jordan’s first vocal contribution, too. She has multiple parts throughout this track, and they’re all very good. These Daoboys are made for hardcore, but they also are able to juxtapose more quaint sections here and there to great effect. I even wish there were more. Carson lays down some fantastic lyrics on this one, such as “’Cause your bank account doesn’t care if your friend dies,” and “I will love me so you don’t have to.“
The title track constantly dances between meaningful, softer passages and brutal accented screams interspersed throughout. For one of the most dynamic bands in the scene, this song flexes that fact, and is subsequently worthy of being called “Title Track”. Carson has remarked that the order of tracks and lyrics between the tracks are both intentional. The lyrical themes are something I’d be figuring out until the day I die, but I can certainly see how this track is the climax to the first half.
That is followed up by another 6+ minute song, and another very strong one at that. “Field Sobriety Practice” starts with a verse that you can picture Carson singing to an audience enjoying a nice dinner. Said dinner would shortly be interrupted as the heavier portions come in, but this track is overall one of the lighter ones on the record, to its benefit. It is also more akin to modern metalcore than the mathcore/hardcore mix present within most of their discography. Halfway through, Carson delivers a lyrical passage discussing heading “to the house where you no longer live and even though I’ve forgotten the gate code, I’ll still feel the strokes of the numbers in my muscles.” Not only is this a nice little piece of imagery, but it also shows how good Carson is at painting a scene in subtle yet realistic ways. He goes on to mention a horse that knows his scent, and that he’s back and “stable” — a double entendre, given the horse. There are so many instances of this dense and genius lyricism across Celebrity Therapist, which can be enjoyed at face value or dissected to the point of overkill if one is so inclined. Truthfully, almost all the lyrics fit this criterion.
There are admittedly a couple tracks that do not hit as hard as the others. Whilst “A Brief Article Regarding Time Loops” and “What is Delicious? Who Swarms?” are good songs, they seem to live more in the general mathcore realm as opposed to the rest of the tracklist having the aforementioned twists and turns that I think Daoboys pulls off so well. When all seven(!) members are able to contribute to equal measures, that large cast is more than justified. Moreover, if you’re looking for hooks, this album won’t exactly supply that. The dynamic nature of the vast majority of the runtime should compensate for that in full, but these tracks are the exception.
“The Elephant Man in the Room” could’ve been classified as one of those tracks, but it does enough to stand apart. The chord progression early on is notably more bouncy than basically any other part of the record, and the riffs are absolutely crushing throughout. There’s also a super ambient and ethereal break at around the 2-minute mark before the instrumentation becomes more like the softer side of math rock, with the cutesy guitar licks. This song also just sounds huge, with perhaps the best consistent performance from Carson.
Given the songwriting talent of The Callous Daoboys, I’d fully expect a great closing track, and they absolutely deliver. “Star Baby” is right up there with “Title Track” as a favorite, another song filled with great lyrical cuts and moody top lines over instrumentation pulling the listener in twelve different directions. As far as I can tell, the lyrics cover topics such as the destruction of the environment and humanity’s reliance on distractions to cope, which are always worthwhile topics to explore. The track and album as a whole concludes with an epic climax and the inclusion of some aptly placed horns.
If your musical tastes even skirt around mathcore, this is a mandatory listen this year, and if this world is just, then Celebrity Therapist should be a staple of mathcore moving forward. It’s one of the busiest records I’ve had the pleasure to digest, but they manage to make it work exceptionally.
8/10
Celebrity Therapist releases this Friday, September 2nd via MNRK, and can be pre-ordered here.