“I hate the government!”
It’s a very sobering day when the best of the “Big 4” call it quits. Among the many pioneering thrash groups of the 80s, with an extensive discography to boot, and influence that continues to avalanche into modern acts, Slayer has been sorely missed since 2018. However, we find ourselves at a much more uplifting juncture this time around; Megadeth has released their final album. Dave Mustaine, somehow, found time between practicing incantations on voodoo dolls of Kirk Hammett and complaining about Metallica to bestow a parting gift of solo fests and mid-tempo riffs upon those with sonically-induced Stockholm Syndrome. Whether you agree with it or not, this is how Mustaine deems all of metal should sound. Leave it to an egotistical control freak who is still living in a moment that happened decades ago to have such an outlook. At the very least, there’s a certain integrity to convincing oneself of a distorted version of reality for this long. Perhaps the only illusion that dwarfs the aforementioned is that Megadeth clearly managed to assure themselves that this was the best possible way to go out.
It feels appropriate to preface this all with something rather inarguable: Megadeth have their own long-standing pillar of prowess with regard to thrash. Rust In Peace, Peace Sells… but Who’s Buying?, and Countdown to Extinction, among other iconic albums, have undoubtedly helped shape the signature qualities of thrash. On top of the fact that Mustaine effectively patented the spider chord, claiming Megadeth haven’t done anything to advance this genre is a numbingly moot perspective. It may be a combination of inevitable father time, a near-twenty-album run, and/or a case of narcissism that would make Chris Barnes blush, but it feels like Megadeth had fully run their course years ago. Given what’s essentially been a rehash of the material they made a very long time ago, and an admittedly stronger showing with Dystopia in 2016 notwithstanding, Megadeth seems rather uncharacteristic in terms of thrash essentials, and an even more perplexing conclusion to a tumultuous tenure.
The vast majority of Megadeth is rife with solos and half-speed hooks, which would’ve been more serviceable if this could actually be called a thrash record. Even with sporadic and brief moments of true thrash qualities on “Made To Kill” and “Obey The Call”, there seems to be a default resignation to slower, melodic sections throughout the rest of the album. Who’s to say if this was a result of Mustaine simply trying his best given his physical limitations or telling Teemu Mäntysaari he knows better, but the emphasis on melody and quasi-progressive elements doesn’t coincide with Megadeth’s usual means, especially since it wasn’t very long ago when they were displaying glimpses of calibre despite Keeping Up With the Kardashians-adjacent personalities.
Some will probably err on the side of Megadeth sounding too clean, but this may have provided a safe landing for what could’ve been even more disastrous. The instrumental engineering is very crisp, and for those who may grow bored of this record after a few songs, at least it couldn’t be argued that the laborious trek wasn’t properly glossed. True gatekeepers will balk at the absence of audible imperfection, but given how tasteless Megadeth is external to that, it should stand to be an afterthought. Credit to Mustaine and Chris Rakestraw, but a pig with lipstick smudged on its mouth is still a pig.
If you were looking for a rare deviation from Mustaine’s usual lyricism concerning his disdain for political suits, your wish has regrettably been granted. Much of Megadeth, specifically “I Don’t Care”, is chock-full of expressive superficiality to the point of toeing the line between LLM-generated lyrics and some spoiled rich kid that took a break from TikTok influencing to play songwriter for a day. It may be a tad harsh, as once again, Mustaine is objectively old and dealing with an extensive back catalogue, but it’s nonetheless where things stand in that arena. If only James Hetfield had crashed the studio at any point during the writing process, then maybe Mustaine could’ve been bothered to come up with something better than inane gibberish that was wrought from a ChatGPT prompt.
Everyone loves a good bonus track. Megadeth has that, and what better way to close out a sustained grinding of the Metallica axe than with a cover of a song that Mustaine was, by his own admission, minimally involved with writing? The “Ride the Lightning” cover is nothing more than a carbon copy of the original with shinier production and better drumming (you are finally free, Dirk Verbeuren). Given that Lars Ulrich is likely the only mainstream drummer in the world who could count himself in and miss being on time for his own cue, this amounts to very little in terms of comparative quality. What’s more, Mustaine regurgitates Hammett’s solo note-by-note. Nothing screams artistic superiority over someone you’ve claimed to be better than for decades than mirroring an entire section to a tee. Endless interviews and infantilely lamenting being fired by Metallica led to a grand finale of a lesser echo. Who, outside of disillusioned individuals that are in serious need of psychological intervention, could’ve possibly seen this coming?
Megadeth has an indisputable foothold in thrash’s meteoric rise over the years. Go to any live thrash show, and most, if not everyone, is variably enamoured with them. Despite this, their final, self-titled effort is merely a familiar product of a band that refused to hang it up when they should’ve and were hellbent on overstaying their welcome. Megadeth falls painfully flat for a lot of reasons. Accumulated grandiosity, survivorship bias, and inflated vanity that only those over the age of sixty could surmount leave us with a dud of a closing chapter. At any rate, let’s footnote with the positives. Megadeth went out on their own terms, Mustaine is free to join the countless boomers on Facebook and whine to his heart’s content, and No Vacancy from School of Rock finally got that record deal they were looking for.
3/10
Megadeth has released as of today, January 23, via BLKIIBLK, and can be purchased here.